June 9th, 2009
03:08 AM GMT
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HONG KONG, China – My colleague Ali Velshi likes to say that there are three ways to secure your financial future – by winning the lottery, marrying a millionaire, or managing your finances.  Managing your finances would appear to be most practical – unless, of course, you are a student of Ms. Lisa Johnson Mandell.

Lisa is an American dating guru.  She recently held a class in Hong Kong giving tips based on her book "How To Snare A Millionaire."  Snagging a sugar daddy is one of the best investment decisions you can make, she assured me.  She should know, she said, because she is married to one. She has had 50 marriage proposals – at least a dozen of the men came with seven-figure salaries, she told the room of aspiring spouses.

So how do you snare a millionaire?

This is the advice she gave to the 98 women and two men in attendance.  (Well, more like one man – the other fled the meeting during the first break. The poor guy didn’t know what he had signed up for.)

Do’s

Be the prize.  Lisa suggests women wear bright-colored dresses and walk around in “power” (read: stiletto) heels.  Men were programmed to hunt, she says.

Be approachable.  While walking, make eye contact and smile.  When interested in someone sitting across a room, think (but don't say aloud), “Oh, baby, oh, baby, you are the hottest thing I have ever seen, and we need each other bad.”  If you can do that (without snorting your drink with laughter), supposedly like a tractor beam, your target will wander over and ask, “Excuse me, did we just have a moment?”

Be at the right place, at the right time.  To Lisa, that means hang out where the rich boys are - cigar bars, full-service apartments, bar areas at expensive steak restaurants, posh hotel lobbies.

Don’t's

Don't talk too much.  On the first date, no mention of children, former lovers, emotional hang-ups, the state of your finances or his.  Don’t prattle on about the finer details of your overqualified resume – he might be inclined to hire you, rather than date you.

Don't be nervous.  Exude confidence.  If you don't know what to talk about - don't.  Ask him more questions about himself, Lisa says.  He'll think you understand him even more.

Don't jump in the sack.  She says most women would want to sleep with a millionaire right away.  So you need to play hard to get.

Lisa cannot quantify how successful her advice is and admits that it could sound mercenary.  However, she blames the stigma on society's double standards.

Men and women were wired, she believes, to behave this way.  “From the cave man days way back when, we had to mate with the men who were the most successful.”  Those would be the best hunters, she explained to me.  “These days that kind of success often equates to wealth.”  She says men, in turn, are engineered to pursue beautiful women because beauty indicates good health.

“Nobody looks askance at men because they want a beautiful wife,” she points out.  “But if you say, 'Go out and find a rich husband', it sounds awful.”

What she preaches, she says, is different from gold-digging.

Gold-diggers are women who “want to separate the man from his money,” Lisa explains.  “Someone who wants to marry a successful man is just normal.”

True, perhaps, though not all women define success in terms of dollars.

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soundoff (124 Responses)
  1. Jeff

    First of all, every man is different, second of all, Every millionaire is going to Know the tactics used by (beautiful) women who are extremly attracted to them (for obvious reasons). A millionaire will probably be relativly shallow, so if he sees someone beautiful he will probably only consider it a "fling". No "smart" millionaire would simply marry a woman for her "body" (the definition of a "Depreciating asset"; and if she follows those motives, will come across as a gold digger). That is the reason why you see alot of millionaires fool around with hot girls when there young and marry plain janes for an emotional connection. Frankly put, they tend to see through that mercenary crap.
    Gorgeous girls actually have a disadvantage when trying to marry.

    It's rather funny to observe this.

    June 9, 2009 at 5:37 am |
  2. Mike

    Another bit of advice – down South there's a phrase 'you need to bring ### to get ###'. A millionaire won't be interested in your 2 square meter apartment and 1973 Dodge......

    June 9, 2009 at 6:31 am |
  3. Anthony Collins

    Ok, but it all seems one sided. The man reacts to the bait while the woman waits for the approach. So much for political correctness, heh? How can a man attract a millionaire-ess (a rich woman)?

    June 9, 2009 at 6:53 am |
  4. Nick Vos

    Couldn't help noticing that, with the exception of point 6, all of these tips she offers are also good advice for hookers. Hmmm.

    June 9, 2009 at 7:24 am |
  5. Patrik

    I totally agree with Jeff. Just work and manage your finance like the rest of the people do. If you want to snag a millionaire become a highclass prostitute. It worked in Pretty Woman..right?

    Men are all differentent. It all depends on luck and stupidity from both sides.

    All the best :)

    June 9, 2009 at 8:15 am |
  6. Jay Ryan

    Is this society gone mad? Do you think money will always answer your problems? I think marriage is not just to secure you finacially but to make you whole as a person. Marriage is about love and relationship. This society treats marriage a fun play; marriage and divorce. Do you think you will be happy with this?

    June 9, 2009 at 8:30 am |
  7. Bob

    Pro athletes are actually given courses on how to avoid women like this. It's a nice problem to have on one hand but problematical on the other.

    June 9, 2009 at 8:32 am |
  8. Karin

    How on earth did she get 50 proposals?1?! Did she sleep with 50 men? or have telepathic sex with all of them the same way she telepathically came on to them? Or did she get her current husband to propose to her 49 additional times? I am completely baffled by how this can happen.

    June 9, 2009 at 8:32 am |
  9. Crystal

    I think it's really telling that Michelle Obama dated Barack Obama even though his car had a hole in it. I've personally turned down the advances of a multi-millionaire – not because he wasn't a wonderful man, but because we just weren't a good match and I knew we wouldn't be happy. Compatibility and emotional connection are more important than dollar signs - of course a woman would want to be with a successful man, but a woman should also work hard and be successful herself. And I second the reader who said that these "tips" sound appropriate for "ladies of the night".

    June 9, 2009 at 8:42 am |
  10. Jason

    Rich men are not stupid. After all they are rich because they did something right. Rich men look at women as a depriciation asset. The depreciation unfortunately is exponential. And at one point, if it loses its worth, it will be traded or sold because it is not worth keeping assets of that sort. I make a high 7 figure salary and I am surviving the crisis, actually my assets increase because of the global crisis because of what I do. I do have affairs with beautiful women and oftentimes sleep with them to fullfill my desire but will not marry them. Afterall, women of this sort make good companion in bed, not a wife. We all know what they are after and we will do everything to protect our assets.

    June 9, 2009 at 8:42 am |
  11. Sharon Chan

    I like the last sentence "True, perhaps, though not all women define success in terms of dollars."

    June 9, 2009 at 9:18 am |
  12. lee liana

    c'mon, in this world there are just too many gorgeous, sexy, pretty girls, so if everyone of them are doing the same stuffs, going to those recommended high class outlets, which one has more? millionaires or pretty gorgeous sexy girls?
    only the lucky ones? end of the day, its opportunities and fate..
    if its yours, its yours, babe!

    June 9, 2009 at 9:43 am |
  13. Gerard

    This phenomenon is ultimately explained by evoutionary psychology. Men exchange their financial assets for a woman's physical assets, and both parties are happy in doing this. There is nothing wrong with this. It simply maximizes our inclusive fitness. The gene is selfish.....

    June 9, 2009 at 10:30 am |
  14. Odek Fred- Silver Africa Tours

    This sound to me like the advice you would pass on to hooker . First the so called Millionares are already Married and have got no need for a long terms relationship with some young confused blond .Secondly in the 21st century when women are preaching equality it sound and feels cheap to me , go get a job and make your own money .

    June 9, 2009 at 10:36 am |
  15. Peggy

    It's degrading to suggest to a woman to "snare a millionaire." What is suggested is just prostituting. Any one with self respect would not marry for money. Love is the key element in a marriage and without this the marriage will fail. Have some self respect, will ya!!

    June 9, 2009 at 11:01 am |
  16. Ben Chow

    Reminds me of the Craiglist email chain. Lisa probably doesn't realize her asset value can only attract Millionaires. Mind you USD $1MM is not alot of money in HK.

    June 9, 2009 at 11:11 am |
  17. Eda

    Even though a Millionare's money might let you suffer in style. I couldnt cuddle up in bed with a cash register. The money perhaps is a bonus but not the essence of the man or woman for that matter.

    June 9, 2009 at 11:13 am |
  18. Afsar Ahmed

    not much to say

    June 9, 2009 at 11:14 am |
  19. earthforce_1

    > How can a man attract a millionaire-ess (a rich woman)?

    Ask John McCain! ( Or Al Gore)

    June 9, 2009 at 11:15 am |
  20. jaderdavila

    lisa is in the right place
    the chinese have a tradition for mate matching

    June 9, 2009 at 11:27 am |
  21. huyen

    I feel pity for women that only go for rich millionaires. Love is the most beauttiful and precious thing in this whole wide world and it is supposed to be shared only between two people who love each other very very much. It is very sad to learn that so many many women out there are so materialistic. A rich clever and intelligent muli-millionare is one who would find a simple, well educated and a beautiful intelligent woman who has a heart of gold, not a first class gold digger prostitute.
    But to all those gold diggers out there...don't you think that a rich, handsome multi-millionare would have been taken by some well respected,well educated women by now? or shall I say in this simple english phrase..beggars cannot be choosers..

    June 9, 2009 at 11:28 am |
  22. Timo

    How low can you get? Sell yourself for money, how about making your own fortune?

    June 9, 2009 at 11:31 am |
  23. Dees

    I feel soooo oldfashioned.. I love my hubby because he is caring, funny and simply a great guy (oh, and not to bad looking either!), and I never bothered to check his bankaccount when we were going out.
    Oh, on the other hand, I ám a modern girl, cause I can take care of my own money. I can afford to marry a guy for who he is, and not for what he has.

    June 9, 2009 at 11:36 am |
  24. Richard

    Marrying into, or wanting to marry into a rich family is nothing new. I have made my millions and am looking forward to meeting students from such classes. Impress me.

    June 9, 2009 at 12:12 pm |
  25. Marcello Soares

    Millionaires don't have one wife....they have a menu.

    June 9, 2009 at 12:48 pm |
  26. Philippe

    @Jeff: I've made the same observations.

    Also, really successful men tend to be more self-confident and don't feel the need for trophy wives as much as their less successful competitors.

    I also can't agree more with Do #2: Be approachable. As a successful man, marriage is a buyer's market. No millionaire in his right mind would date a woman who starts off by making him jump through hoops.

    June 9, 2009 at 1:09 pm |
  27. Kennedy

    Okay, well after the marriage what are the dos and don't for keeping and/or maintaining the millionaire? Of cause money can not buy love.

    June 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm |
  28. TheFifthAnimal.com

    These points will work very well for people (men or women) who are ready to marry millionaires 20+ older than they are. Younger millionaire-ess usually choose the ones from the familiar social circles – read family, close friends, business, school, vacation, not "visitors" to the hotel bars.

    June 9, 2009 at 1:21 pm |
  29. Dora P

    Great comments guys...now from a woman's perspective.....
    Nick Vos, you're right on the LINE....I agree with you fully.
    This woman whoever she is...just wants recognition....she is telling women it's alright to act like hookers because that's what rich men want....I disagree. And yes, rich men hunt for hotties just for an affair, and nothing more...unless the man SHE'S HUNTED, is very naive. There are a few of them out there.....as I am living in Europe at the moment, you should see what goes on here. Russians, Ukraines, Romanian and Bulgarian women are all about the HUNT THEMSELVES, even married men. SAD!

    June 9, 2009 at 1:28 pm |
  30. Derek

    I find it hard to believe that she's had 50 men propose to her. All her tactics are pretty old and tired, its nothing new for a woman to want to marry a rich man, this is a given in many cultures (Indian, Chinese, Middle Eastern, etc).

    She forgot to mention one very important DO which is often not a choice, DO LOOK BEAUTIFUL. I don't care what tactics you employ, but if the girl looks like a dog, the only millionaire she'll be snaring is in Zimbabwe.

    Let's be honest, prettiest girls get kissed, and money buys kisses.

    June 9, 2009 at 1:35 pm |
  31. tojoe

    All this applies to shallow society woman..there are cultures which are different across the world..this good advice for woman who want to get laid by millionaires rather than hoping to get married by them..one night stands and few bucks possibly if he's one of the dumb millioniare

    June 9, 2009 at 1:41 pm |
  32. Eric

    I have to disagree strongly with the notion that men are attracted to beautiful women as that correlates with good health. I think more accurrately, "cave men" ie, me...were looking towards those females with large breasts and a little meat on their bones as that would confer more reproductive success. In every species, reproductive success is king. Personally, I like'em on the skinny side.

    June 9, 2009 at 1:43 pm |
  33. Danielle

    I find the comments one sided and I would hope smart women are capable of meeting a millionnaire without acting as if they are someone else or playing mind games. Men will see right through this behavior. As a millionare, and a woman, I can only say that it has made it harder for me to meet the right kind of man. My success tends to be threatening to many men. I would like to hear tips on how I can attract a decent, honest, intelligent man.

    June 9, 2009 at 1:52 pm |
  34. Maximo

    boring, hypocrite and greedy....

    June 9, 2009 at 3:04 pm |
  35. Walter

    Agreed with Nick – excellent advice for hookers ... point 6 might even apply!

    I'll watch out for those tractor beams – reminds me of my wicked stepmother. Euch.

    June 9, 2009 at 3:06 pm |
  36. Daniel Somerset

    As a person who stands to inherit an estate and the title that comes with it, I have this piece of advice for those that are hunting for the likes of me... Be yourself, do not follow a rigid set of rules – act normal and have natural reactions... Most rich men are not stupid – we have all had our fair share of gold-diggers and we see through such tactics from miles... If you want to sleep with a millionaire, by all means do follow the old routine that this woman is profiting from preaching... If you want a genuine relationship, do not pretend to be what you are not, act normal and treat the person you want to land a relationship with as you would a normal person... Just because we have money, does not mean we do not want the simple life and enjoy the simple pleasures... Friends, good food, nice music, travel... We are looking for a partner to enjoy it with, not a manipulating pill-popping cocktail-drinking shopaholic psycho ... If you think that after you tricked a rich man to marry you, you will be commanding the parade, you have another thing coming... Those who marry for money shall earn it, in one way or another... It is not the easy way, ask any hooker...

    June 9, 2009 at 3:23 pm |
  37. Bupha Sirinarang

    'If its meant to be, it's meant to be.' Marriages are made in heaven. Marriage is a bond and not a business. If you had married a millionnaire, that's good for u. Women are strong and smart, they don't need men to be rich.

    June 9, 2009 at 3:25 pm |
  38. Richard H. Nlebesi

    Men want smart women, not gold diggers. Most millionaires that I know are married to simple, honest , plain and smart women.

    June 9, 2009 at 3:47 pm |
  39. Richard

    Being a material girl is nothing to be proud of. What a cynical person this author is.

    June 9, 2009 at 4:16 pm |
  40. dan in Tucson

    Bottom line is, if you are going after money, you are a gold-digger. Regardless of gender. Most well-off people do not flaunt their wealth for this reason, so spotting a sugar-daddy is very hard.

    June 9, 2009 at 4:32 pm |
  41. asif

    ok fine,so how can a man attract a millionaire-ess (a rich woman?)spacially a muslim one?

    June 9, 2009 at 4:45 pm |
  42. Monica

    One other way is being forgotten here, educate yourself and make your own million. It involves more than just managing your own finances. This article gives a bad name to women. I object.

    June 9, 2009 at 6:32 pm |
  43. David

    Jeff, how is it that you are so certain that all millionaires will A) know these tactics, and B) be shallow? Perhaps you should write a book. Seem you know a lot about millionaires. Must be nice to be able to see the world in such clear terms (i.e. millionaires are probably shallow, probably just want a fling, etc.). Are there any other categories of people about whom you have generalizations? There is a name for that, and it is not a pretty word!

    June 9, 2009 at 6:40 pm |
  44. Manu

    A word of caution to all gold-diggers...not all wealthy men are generous or even allow their partners access to their money!

    June 9, 2009 at 6:51 pm |
  45. Ryan

    Fortunately most of the men in the world are wise to this kind of garbage and that is why most of us refuse to marry trash at all without a pre-nup as thick as a phone book.

    There is a real trend as well to marry outside-the-first world because the women in the first world are so superficial and we men ALL KNOW it.

    That is why strippers are such a good resources. We can look but don't have to buy....

    This article makes men sick and laugh at the same time.

    June 9, 2009 at 7:03 pm |
  46. Francisca

    I like your lecture all the tips are just wonderful

    June 9, 2009 at 7:18 pm |
  47. Mike

    OMG Nick, that was hilarious. I nearly spit out my coffee.

    June 9, 2009 at 7:55 pm |
  48. Roxann

    If you marry someone for their money, you become their hooker.
    I hope no man–millionaire or not–is stupid enough to fall for her tactics.

    June 9, 2009 at 9:29 pm |
  49. Natalia

    Well yes it is true that we women are looking for a successful man, but he dosent have to be rich. If i see a man who is not rich but has a lot of ambitions that is what we need women i guess. If you marru a man who is already rich you wont have too many things to share, but if you marry a man who is not rich but with a lot of ambitins and grow together in this case you will have a lot to share....
    natallia_km@yahoo.com

    June 9, 2009 at 11:58 pm |
  50. Joe Brown

    The only formula MEN need to remember ( women are too smart & clever to make this mistake ) is ( 100 + zero ) divided by 2 = 50.

    June 10, 2009 at 12:45 am |
  51. Dee

    I think SOME Men marry plane Janes as a shallow result of being a playboy – or even someone who thinks he is, while continuing to sleep with – and treat, pretty Women (usually Women who are far younger – older Women know better???) terribly for fear of actually feeling victimised by a Woman having the power of love over him. They are afraid of loving and loosing more so. No strings control so to speak...

    His friend's and the company he keeps suggest not marrying a pretty Woman simply for that reason – and because his friend's would be the first to try and sleep with her, as soon as he blinks, which is also a bit patronising for any Woman with a bit of sense, or knowledge of how to respect another human being. It's deep insecurity really – inferiority complex masked with posessions, wealth, and a fast car, because Women who are pretty get treated fairly well – as well as being treated badly – quite often, so they expect a lot also, and have a lot of wisdon for it – however much they let on, which is also the oldest female trick in the book.

    Not all pretty Women are brain dead – most aren't, and anyone seriously thinking of marriage would want – and look for, a combination of a lot of things – it is supposed to be for love and life after all, or else they are just fooling themselves really... Not all successful Men are womanising chauvinists either – they just like their job, or their virtious morality has made them want to achieve and contribute to society. Some appreciate the finer things in life, without having to be superficial about it – just educated enough to. Plenty of talented people out there..,

    Other Men simply have such contempt for Women, because of how they fling themselves at them, simply because they are wealthy. Do you blame them really, or are starving kids far worse off? Everything is relative really... I bet that guy let's his Woman brag about being a vixen, while heaping praise on her, because when she's so caught up writing books about her own amazing qualities, he probably has five fitter females on the go, or is it just me who's being a bit cynical now?

    The best advice? Don't settle for anything less than the best... I've yet to really, really trust a Man – I was a bit of a bitch once, purely for educational purposes, but I'm sure there are some good one's out there – somewhere, and any Man with a brain, want's a like minded female, in a fifty, fifty way, or you're at nothing really. Lot's of "cunning" Women are resigned to the fact that Men cheat, so they put up with it and do the same. What"s the point of such lies? If you want sexual enlightenment, find an enlightened partner, or enlighten one – see how quick it takes him to go mad, or get jealous, while you hammer him at his own game,

    Personally? I'd hate to be desperate enough to chain myself to a millionare through marriage, in a hope of finding security other than one I could just as easily provide for myself, if I was willing and gracious enough to simply just appreciate being alive. That's a balance that's very hard to find sometimes, and if you're true to yourself like that, life partner's just inevitably come along – sometimes for a few months, sometimes for a few years, and sometimes for life.

    Maybe I should write a book?

    Dee xxx:)

    June 10, 2009 at 12:46 am |
  52. subrata

    Probably she is trying to advise the beauties without brains (like her). This is very wrong way to view of how women think. There are lots of successful women in the world in every area like politics, science, arts etc. Grabbing a millionaire is not a measure of success. Shame on you for trying to get publicity in a disgraceful way.

    June 10, 2009 at 1:21 am |
  53. Dee

    I think you just attract what you want. If your´re genuine, you´ll get that – if you're lucky, or good looking, or down to Earth – sometimes in a cliche way, good looking people are not, or all of the above. The bad thing is, so many people don´t quite often – they don't get that, or they are corrupted by biased, green, "gurus" who assure them to pave the yellow brick road with timber, or they react badly to lost love, before seeing the whole picture, which is why the World combines marriage, and mercenery so much nowadays... Some people love money I suppose? Maybe he was impressed by her brain? Maybe she's intelligent in his way of thinking, hence the attraction? Maybe I'm wrong to comment on something I know nothing about? I strongly believe that if you really believe in being believed, you will be. She's lucky she wrote a book, because if he left her, she would only have half of his money.

    Dee xxx:)

    June 10, 2009 at 2:14 am |
  54. Werner

    For an interesting read that explains why this type of strategy won't work, take a look at 'The economics of golddigging' on the Freakonomics bog of Prof. Levitt: http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/09/the-economics-of-gold-digging/?pagemode=print

    Bottom line: millionaire=earning asset , young beautiful golddigger=depreciating asset (age, sorry ladies). Ergo: to a millionaire such a lady is a trading position, not a buy and hold (marriage).

    Millionaires who want to stay millionaires don't marry beautiful women the age of their daughters.

    June 10, 2009 at 2:58 am |
  55. Tumteeta

    My dad has been married to a gold digger for over a quarter of a century. Regardless of how hard my stepmom has tried he would never let go of his millions until he's six feet under. Millionaires are millionaires for one reason: they lover their millions.

    June 10, 2009 at 3:35 am |
  56. lou

    women desperate enough to follow those do's and don'ts must excert more effort to become financially stable so as not to desire things beyond their means and in the process become the laughing stock men.

    June 10, 2009 at 5:08 am |
  57. Izzie Wright

    Hang out where the rich boys are? In Hong Kong most of them are in hostess clubs or hooker bars looking for their one night (or one hour) stand.

    June 10, 2009 at 9:17 am |
  58. kathy

    Here's a thought, instead of teaching how to snag a million dollar man, how about encouraging women to excel more in business and be productive for their future. This sounds like a set-up for woman to be call girls. If all else fails, write a book about how to make money off men.
    Please,,,,,,,,Get a life, a job, a career. Lady, you make the rest of us women look stupid.

    June 10, 2009 at 11:33 am |
  59. Katy

    Say Daniel, we need to discuss this title business further - I'll even buy YOU the drink. Call me at 555-xxxx [And I hope every one of you are laughing...]
    And Danielle "made it harder for me to meet the right kind of man" you are absolutely right. I support myself, have bolstered two kids out of the house, I dont bring in-laws to the table (passed away) and I am a culinary chef de cuisine. And single for 12 years. Go figure.

    June 10, 2009 at 12:34 pm |
  60. Mariya Podekova -Bulgaria

    If you looking only the millions of somebady i don't think so you really search relationship in real way .You then search account full with money and if you think you will be happy with a lot .I don't think so the happynes in this world is make by the money a the staff who we not see but feel with our hearts and souls .that's is the real truth in our broken world .
    Mariya Podekova Bulgaria

    June 10, 2009 at 2:28 pm |
  61. Kevin

    To Daniel Somerset. Love your style, man. Would you marry me?

    June 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm |
  62. Raquel

    Has nobody noticed the joke is on those actually spending their money buying her advice? Can't blame the woman for not being smart... she's just selling books.

    June 10, 2009 at 7:37 pm |
  63. Juliana

    In my point of view, I believe that kind of woman is nothing but very LAZY, cannot study and work hard to achieve their own success!
    I always say, I cannot believe in a world full of healthy and idleness people, there are still those who "refuses" get up their lazy asses and work! Work dignifies our achievements in a whole special and ONLY way!

    June 10, 2009 at 8:12 pm |
  64. Nicole

    Beyond the obvious, I found one glaring problem with Mandell's advice: in 2009 one is more likely to find a man who is living beyond his means at the places she recommends than an actual millionaire. There is a much larger number of wealthy people living middle-class lifestyles than splurging on sports cars, expensive watches and $50 steaks. And I imagine anyone trying to act as if he is more wealthy than he really is would probably bring bigger problems to a relationship than financial ones.

    June 10, 2009 at 9:38 pm |
  65. Mack

    Most rich men are not stupid and each of them are different. They would rather enjoy more women who go after them as many as possible, than falling in to the trap of women who go behind their money.. Days have changed..

    June 10, 2009 at 11:32 pm |
  66. Matty

    Good advice for groupies and gold diggers.I hope you dont have a daughter,if you do expect grand kids soon

    June 10, 2009 at 11:53 pm |
  67. s

    how long does it take to receive 50 marriage proposals??...and why would you let 50 relationships get to that point??... totally weird

    June 11, 2009 at 1:54 am |
  68. dr joy

    if you are an educated woman, with your dignity and you worked your hard to get to whatever success you have in life, you will not stoop down to that level of marrying someone for the sake of money. you simply sold yourself! and it's a slap on the face of your parents who worked hard to give you a good life and education. And millionaire men who worked hard for their richness will not be stupid to marry a girl who marries just for the money, maybe you will just be a mistress! you might be lucky to marry a rich guy and married because of true love but its a lot better if you are married and you and your husband or wife worked hard to build your own fortune together!

    June 11, 2009 at 2:51 am |
  69. Janine

    is this a serious news report? if so, it's insulting. if not, it's not funny. is this a serious conference where women paid money to attend and this was the only topic? if so, it's embarassing that people seriously attended this. If you want to have more money - don't waste it on "conferences" like this...

    June 11, 2009 at 3:20 am |
  70. Lene Dee

    Beautiful
    Good characters & attitudes
    Confident
    Smart
    High Integrity
    Good job
    Own income

    are must for ladies these days.

    and ... Marriage a millionare man is a bonus.

    Are you still be loyal to him if he is bankrupt and sick lying on bed all the time?

    June 11, 2009 at 3:34 am |
  71. IvyLeaguer

    Gosh, there's a lot of envy / jealousy and resentment displayed in the comments here! Live and let live! Let men be after looks and women be after a good provider. NOTHING wrong with that, my friends!
    These millionaires are not so innocent; they frequently use their money in order to try and attract the woman they want!

    June 11, 2009 at 4:26 am |
  72. Caroline

    Everybody likes beautiful things and the pleasures that money can buy. I have a couple of girlfriends who ended up marrying wealthy guys who treated them extremely bad. However, they continued accepting the abuse due to the lavish Gucci and LV gifts to name a few. This is really wrong that CNN would promote someone preaching these lessons. Women have come so far in the last years and are beginning to leave their mark in the business world. Lectures like these on national tv teach young girls that they should bypass hard work and find themselves a rich husband whether it brings happiness or not.

    C.

    June 11, 2009 at 8:27 am |
  73. daisy

    a rotten apple injures its neighbour...very very sad world!!

    June 11, 2009 at 1:49 pm |
  74. dan in Tucson

    Let me add some incite to this issue. I am one of those men millionaires. I live a modest life and keep mostly to myself. When I want a woman I go buy one for the night. No one really knows I have money, so no one bothers me. This is more common than you may think for exactly the reason stated here in this article. Men who play the game are doing just that. Having fun taking advantage of people. I suppose it comes down to how you made your money as to what type of person you are. Women who seek money are just as shallow as the prize they seek.

    June 11, 2009 at 2:39 pm |
  75. Suze

    Kudos to the team behind this report! I thought it was a great feminist piece: a group of women taking the power back and also at the same time not taking themselves too seriously. I'm assuming that the gals who are the real gold diggers aren't going to be taking such a class like this, are they? So what's left are maybe a few empowered and enlightened women getting together and having a laugh. Yeah -this is brilliant stuff – more of the same CNN!

    June 11, 2009 at 3:00 pm |
  76. Dianna

    Just be yourself, if you have to result to any type of tactics or manipulation to obtain a relationship...it is going to fail. Happiness is not in money, it is within yourself and only then can you find someone who can share their happiness with you equally. We can't save anyone from their problems just as they can't save us from our own...not with money or even love. Personally, I find all the answers needed in the Bible. I am sad to see that women are holding classes like these that are so manipulative...puts shame on the rest of us women.

    June 11, 2009 at 3:26 pm |
  77. Eric

    It's alright. Men with money have already found a way around this; we don't get married.

    June 11, 2009 at 3:30 pm |
  78. Eric

    And just one more thing, this article is essentially describing legal extortion, so if you have no soul or future I suggest you follow these steps. They seemed to have worked for their author... Right.

    June 11, 2009 at 3:35 pm |
  79. Jerry B

    Me, personally? I like clever girls like Eunice. Does that make me a brain digger?
    Ain't nothing wrong with going for what personally takes your fancy and not being apologetic about it. Civil rights y'all! This is 2009.

    Jerry B.

    June 11, 2009 at 5:53 pm |
  80. Ronnie

    This article is so funny. This should not be on cnn.com.

    June 11, 2009 at 9:32 pm |
  81. ray

    i find this quite pathetic!!

    June 11, 2009 at 11:46 pm |
  82. Ryan

    Lisa Johnson Mandell sounds like an idiot if you ask me. She just wants someone to do what she can't – -Take care of her and herself.

    June 12, 2009 at 1:32 am |
  83. Victor H.

    Jeff and Patrick, good answers. High 5's Jason too.
    Well as Jeff and Jason said millionaires are not stupid people, c'mon do you think rich men make money watching football and drinking beer all day? It takes brains and wisdom to make millions, a lot if you started from zero. Seriously, If even poor guys from poor countries can reach the top starting from a scratch why an average "rich" american girl can't?

    I laughed hard when I read "Don't jump on the sack." Do woman really think men are that stupid? If you are a ***** it takes just a few minutes for a wise man to identify that, your behavior and opinions shows who you are, you can't hide your true self very long. Those woman might snare a typical old rich man but not a wise millionaire. As Patrick said they should just become a high class escort then.

    June 12, 2009 at 5:17 am |
  84. Naada

    Money cannot buy love! And how on earth did she get 50 proposals! :S! Jeez!
    Love is more valuable than dollar bills, and if anyone who is too blind to see that, than it's their loss!
    for millionaires, it's one night night stands!
    and definitely, millionaires aren't that stupid, to fall for every "high class prostitute", after all they became millionaires cause they have done the right thing at one point!

    June 12, 2009 at 9:22 am |
  85. Sego (South Africa)

    Seriously, 50 proposals? Interesting. Anyway, why work that hard to get a man. I know of women who have used tactics, they do get the man ... only for a while. Don't take people for granted. Everyone has a conscience to discern when something is right and wrong. I believe in making my own money rather than hunting someone else's money. Moreover, I am content with what I have. I have my pride!
    My man will come and will stay with me, without me having to follow the "Does and Don'ts" in order to get a man. I just have to be me!

    June 12, 2009 at 11:11 am |
  86. consy

    Not all women go to school and not all women have previllages right from childhood but any woman is entitled to good life and future. Its just an option to date a billionaire,i dont think she suggested all women should. Im a descent girl and i wouldn't try her tactics either, coz i dont think i would manage but i believe probably that made her find fortune and she feels she's sharing it out. People have different reasons as to why they do various things in life. So dont gudge people by what they say or what they do unless it becomes a hazard to humanity.

    June 12, 2009 at 11:27 am |
  87. abemillion air

    these day the sex money and greed are every thing to most people. dont be fools!!!!!!!!!!!

    June 12, 2009 at 12:27 pm |
  88. veronika

    Taking a class like that would be fun and I have to say that in terms of financial crisis sounds like a bail out plan for some women !
    Even though I don't believe that any of millionaire marriages would last long, just because most of them are based upon material things, and love/caring/feelings doesn't mean a thing.

    June 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm |
  89. Jeff

    Lisa or what ever your name is, I'm so dissappointed about your write up.
    In todays world where gender equality is preached, women shoud be desuaded from following your advice and work hard to making their own money.
    This way, they can always be guaranteed to walk with their shoulders high.
    Note: A man in marriage is to support a woman, and not to provide all her needs

    June 12, 2009 at 2:07 pm |
  90. Kitty

    Dated a millionaire, not for his money but because he was the sweetest person I met, which when we met none of us knew about each other's finances. He was attracted to me because I was the exact opposite of him-he is very materialistic, I made him ride in my Yaris because his gas drinking sports car was just too ridiculous in my eyes, I spend more money on supporting local animal shelter than on my clothes, and I can go on and on, it was just very refreshing to him that I did not care about his assets and despite of having the opportunity I never asked for anything, the best date was getting Pizza and watching a movie in my tiny apartment. Unfortunately it did not work out betwen us but the end had nothign to do with money

    June 12, 2009 at 4:57 pm |
  91. Stuart

    I agree completely with the comment by Suze. I had a good friend who attended who said it sounded like a light hearted 'tongue in cheek' event. She and few girlfriends thought it would be a hilarious girls night out. The full title of the seminar was the millionaire bit...plus "and other dating secrets." Anyone, anywhere in the world who is single is often interested in getting tips to find a partner. Plus anyone who knows women knows many of them love this pop psychology stuff. My female friend who went along is a beautiful person both inside and out and she is really just looking for someone she can click with (unfortunately for me we didn't click), no $$$ required, she has her own money. Like many people in HK we are here because we ourselves are very successful in our own careers.
    She did say by the way that it was an amusing night out but that she wasn't going to be trawling cigar bars any time soon. She would just keep doing all the interesting stuff she is currently doing and hopes that one day she might meet someone! Unfortunately for most of us dates don't just fall on our doorsteps and anyone who has tried internet dating in HK will know it is a very small pool for expats seeking same. Take a step back people and assume the more logical, as Suze did that the ladies at this seminar were there for a fun night out in HK and a bit of a laugh...they sure seemed to be laughing at the suggestions in the clip.

    June 12, 2009 at 11:52 pm |
  92. Michael

    I'm a millionaire and fell for a woman who did just as recommended. She attracted me through being flashy, gave great sex, I fell into lust, then heavy pressure to marry, and then she became a classic gold digger. Eventually, the marriage ended in a divorce because her money greediness became too obvious, and she had an affair. My advice, don't fall for that flashy, sexy, woman until you totally check her out (past husbands/lovers) over two plus years. It will save you a lot of pain.

    June 13, 2009 at 5:38 am |
  93. Shena

    LOVED IT!
    This is the perfect tongue in cheek antidote for all those hard hitting, depressing recession news these days. And about labeling these women gold diggers? Tsk tsk....Let he without sin cast the first stone!

    June 13, 2009 at 5:56 pm |
  94. Edouard

    hey, this isnt a new thing... ive seen it everywhere... and these girls may have money but they depend so much in your so called "sugar daddys" that they have to eat abuse from them...

    its sad

    June 13, 2009 at 10:59 pm |
  95. pande

    To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.
    it's not about how to reach their thick pocket, what a cheapo !!!!!!

    June 14, 2009 at 1:46 am |
  96. lakshman Dalpadado

    As Ms Lisa Mandell says, men are hunters by nature- once they enjoyed their kill – they move on to another !!

    June 14, 2009 at 3:07 am |
  97. lakshman Dalpadado

    Marriages are made in heaven – the ones made on earth are just .... er.. poor judgement and bad investments.!

    June 14, 2009 at 3:14 am |
  98. lakshman Dalpadado

    Whatever happened to womens lib?
    Women are never truly liberated unless they give up the desire
    to 1. Marry 2. Have children

    Come on girls be liberated!!

    June 14, 2009 at 3:17 am |
  99. Paul

    I agree completely with the comment by Suze. I had a good friend who attended who said it sounded like a light hearted ‘tongue in cheek’ event. She and few girlfriends thought it would be a hilarious girls night out. The full title of the seminar was the millionaire bit…plus “and other dating secrets.” Anyone, anywhere in the world who is single is often interested in getting tips to find a partner. Plus anyone who knows women knows many of them love this pop psychology stuff. My female friend who went along is a beautiful person both inside and out and she is really just looking for someone she can click with (unfortunately for me we didn’t click), no $$$ required, she has her own money. Like many people in HK we are here because we ourselves are very successful in our own careers.
    She did say by the way that it was an amusing night out but that she wasn’t going to be trawling cigar bars any time soon. She would just keep doing all the interesting stuff she is currently doing and hopes that one day she might meet someone! Unfortunately for most of us dates don’t just fall on our doorsteps and anyone who has tried internet dating in HK will know it is a very small pool for expats seeking same. Take a step back people and assume the more logical, as Suze did that the ladies at this seminar were there for a fun night out in HK and a bit of a laugh…they sure seemed to be laughing at the suggestions in the clip.

    June 14, 2009 at 10:10 am |
  100. Roche

    Looking at the video clip. It looks like Lisa Johnson Mandell's sense of humour got her where she is (in bagging a millionaire), men usually are weary of 'too good' looking women, as they can be lazy in other areas.....Good on her for practising what she preaches!

    June 14, 2009 at 2:08 pm |
  101. DrJ

    Golddiggers abound. Hopefully the "millionaires" will have the sense and intelligence NOT to get sucked into a relationship that has NO foundation, basis, or value. Of course, there are "millionaires" just as shallow and superficial as Ms. Lisa Johnson Mandell professes.

    How about live within your means? And seek value and substance in relationships. What Ms. Mandell preaches is a joke at best and pathetic advice to losers at worst.

    June 15, 2009 at 11:28 am |
  102. anon

    The theme here is, "Honey, it's just as easy to marry a rich man, as it is a poor man." I was brought up with this adage by my elegant great grandmother- and it's a truism. Worked for me- 22 years of a happy marriage, and you can bet that we coach our kids to use their judgement skills in potential mates. Success and survival of the fittest does not rely on physical prowess, but mental, and when a gal uses her mental strengths, one would deduce that yes, "It's just as easy to marry a rich man, as it is a poor one" – of course, the kind, loyal, honest, etc, is a given and a MUST.

    June 15, 2009 at 12:32 pm |
  103. Eve

    I just called one of my ex-s to congratulate him for his birthday. When he asked me if I had a boyfriend I said no but I was tired of dating "sugar daddies". I asked him why old rich men fall for me 'cause at the moment I'm just looking for someone of my age (30's) and he just answered me:
    - there is something called viagra, they only want sex.
    Well I wasn't convinced as I'm a quite common girl and no the most pretty in town...
    So because this goes on and on I began to be convinced that my future should be with one "sugar daddy"...
    And I don't met them in expensive places!
    If you want to marry, marry a person for what he/she is, not for the money.

    June 15, 2009 at 3:46 pm |
  104. Harry

    If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
    Never make a pretty woman your wife.
    So from my personal point of view,
    Get an ugly girl to marry you. -Harry Belafonte

    June 16, 2009 at 1:39 am |
  105. Adrian

    There will always be people out there for money. It comes in all shades but in its deepest shade is simply called prostitution. There is of course a thin line between a person who wants an expensive meal and bottle of champagne before they sleep with you, and someone who simply calls themselves a prostitute. Unfortunately, in both cases, it will not help find love or a successful relationship – and anyone who spends any time focussing on these sorts of things in life deserves to get used themselves short and quickly – no doubt for the only thing they possess which has any value – which in a few seconds of useful lust will also fast depreciate.

    June 17, 2009 at 12:30 pm |
  106. Eugene, San Jose, CA

    In the old west gold rush era, the tools of the prospecting trade included a good set of mining pans. Today, it is high stiletto heels (or in the case of men, maybe a good pair of Nike sneakers). No matter how bright the blouse (or car, or shorts), a gold-digger is a gold-digger is a gold-digger...

    June 17, 2009 at 8:48 pm |
  107. Rich Gary

    Wonder if any of Bernie Madoff's clients, attracted these "marry a millionaire" types, got the marriage deal done, then found out all of the money was gone in the Ponzi scheme? Did the women stay, or go?
    I don't know any millionaires who don't know the phrase, Pre Nup..............

    June 17, 2009 at 11:46 pm |
  108. Phil

    As one of these "millionaires" I'd like to point something out to the rest of you.

    We're not all flamboyant. I have several million in assets but I certainly don't act like I've got a lot. I don't drive an expensive car, I don't have a fancy house. Everything is tied up in investments. I'm a small business owner.

    So before you go out looking for that wonderful guy with all the toys, look across the street at your neighbor. They might just look like me.

    Being a "millionaire" only requires that you have "one million" in any form (cash or investments) minus debt.

    June 19, 2009 at 4:49 pm |
  109. jessica

    Hello people, "RUGS TO RICHES " this is good ......STOP thinking others money......work hard for yourself and be rich ,,,,why dont you advise and feature here how to get rich ...and not how to be a hooker.... this simply called professional prostitute.....

    June 21, 2009 at 6:21 am |
  110. Blonde

    Good comments, yet it's interesting how we have all assumed that these "women" are not millionaire or more themselves.

    The beginning of this post states "financially secure"...I think this dating skill doesn't just one-sidedly apply to women who wants money, but who can also be miilionaires themselves not to be scammed by men.

    And since beautiful women are a "depriciating asset", beautiful women who built their wealth through years of hardwork and youth shall take this advice even more seriously to avoid men who may just go for their money and status....

    There's always two-side to a story, please don't assume the women are earning less just because they may want to maintain being "financially secured" and not to be tricked by men...

    June 23, 2009 at 2:46 am |
  111. Kim

    Perhaps Ms. Lisa Johnson Mandell was "the prize" (her #1 rule) when she was younger. I have a hard time believing the 50 proposals now. This is mean, but in line with her logic.

    June 24, 2009 at 8:20 am |
  112. Saaps

    This woman is leading everyone into temptation!!! Dont get hit by this bug. At the end of the day it is love and companionship which matters most rather than the big bucks. Be sensible and make the right choices in your life.
    Why would she arrange such a meeting if she is happy with a millionaire.......dont you guys get it she is also making money and her focus is nothing else. Trying to sell such cheap concepts shows that she is not happy with her domestic life!!

    June 24, 2009 at 12:00 pm |
  113. Anne Marie

    What a silly article. It sounds like bad dating advice from a magazine my mother would've read. I think that most people do want someone who is financially successful, which could indicate that they are also successful in other aspects of life as well, but it can't be the primary quality you see in another person, because money can't hold two people together. I want my partner to have money in as much as I want to have a successful career and acquire my little bit of wealth :) I wouldn't hold them to a standard beyond what I feel I could do myself. However, when it comes down to it, it's all just happenstance. Maybe the love of your life will be a wildy handsome and wealthy man, but maybe he won't love you back. Maybe he'll love you, but you can't love him. Maybe you'll fall in love with a school teacher. Who knows? Who cares? Seek happiness, and no monetary dischord can do much to impede on what you've worked and earned for yourself. A happy life. I'm 23 and a staff accountant, and maybe I'll earn "a lot" of money one day, maybe I won't, but above all I want happiness and freedom, not the oppressive presence of a "rich guy" I managed to snag and hitch myself to for life.

    June 24, 2009 at 5:20 pm |
  114. Lan

    Such a disgrace. We're ladies deserve to love and being loved by any guy regardless of their wealth. This kind of class just giving love a bad name, poisoning minds, and undermining our gender. Chin up ladies! We have fabulous talents to be rich in so many ways independently.

    June 24, 2009 at 6:49 pm |
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